Today students practiced alternate beginnings for their pieces. Like lifting weights or training for a marathon, these short writing exercises flex students’ writing abilities. They are experiments, test rounds, and sketches. The writings done today do not necessarily make it into the final draft.
1. Students read about 6 different beginnings (download .doc here):
The Hook
This option is a standard newspaper technique. The writer tries to create reader interest immediately, perhaps by offering partial information or by creating a mini-mystery:
I should have known Mrs. Swartz hated kids.
The sentences following that opening line add to the mystery:
She had Keep Out!, Beware of Mean Dog, and This means YOU! signs posted
everywhere.
Scene-Setting
This is your basic narrative technique. The writer creates a picture for the reader, puts the reader there, creates a mood, or sets the atmosphere. The writer must use specific (concrete) details to pull off this opening.
It was a dark and stormy night.
Telling Detail
Sometimes a single unique detail can draw the reader into a much larger story. Replay the scene you’re telling and review again what you remember. For instance if you say, “After I fell off my bike and broke my leg, I remember that they brought my tennis shoe to me in the hospital.”
There on the pavement lay a small child’s tennis shoe.
Character Throwing
Try this without an introduction of any kind. Just throw a character at the reader.
Teddy Howland was the skinniest, ugliest kid in Eureka. His arms were too long, his legs were too long, and his eyes stuck out like lightbulbs. His Adam’s apple looked like someone had glued a tennis ball to his neck. His squeaky, high voice sounded as if it belonged to a third-grade girl more than a ninth-grade guy. Teddy Howland was a freak of nature, but his parents bought him every new toy in the world. Teddy was my best friend.
Walking
This is another no exposition, no introduction beginning. You don’t need to tell readers everything at the beginning. Just walk right into the middle of the story in the first line. If possible, tell the gist of the whole story in the first line. Don’t hem and haw. Don’t dawdle around. Just lay it out. Here’s an example:
Giving credit where credit is due, if it hadn’t been for my mother, I never would have gotten him in the first place mainly because my father didn’t like dogs. [from William Goldman’s The Temple of Gold]
Notice the was Walking openings are often sentences that are informative, yet a bit mysterious, and somewhat gangly. That technique is part of their charm.
Dialogue
Drop the reader into a conversation that is already underway. This technique essentially invites the reader to eavesdrop, a favorite pastime for many. For example, imagine a first date. Usually, they’re a bit awkward and tense. In writing about such a time, the writer doesn’t need to explain that point; instead, the writer can show it with a dialogue that also draws the reader into the piece. No exposition is needed:
“I’m not sure I even like you.”
“I’m not particularly crazy about you, either, now that I think about it.”
“Fine. So, how in the world did we end up on our first date ever, in the back seat of this stretch limo, on our way to the Prom?”
“I think it’s Shannon’s fault. She told me in Chemistry class that you secretly liked me and wanted me to ask you out.”
“Shannon is an unreliable narrator.”
2. Next, students chose a technique that stood out to them and summarized it to the class.
3. Then, a few volunteers read the first three to five lines of the beginning of one of their pieces. We discussed what might be improved.
4. Finally, students all took ten minutes to rewrite one of the beginnings of their pieces (either the Name piece, the Episode piece, or the Place piece) using one of the six techniques discussed. Absent students should do the same.
5. At the end of class, students had some time to start revising one of their pieces.
HW: This weekend, students must revise another draft into a polished, typed piece. Revision does not mean just typing it up and running spell check. Revision means Re-Seeing. Your revised piece must be significantly different than the draft in your Writer’s Notebook (I will be able to tell!). Change the beginning, try a different ending, take out the boring sentences, and, most importantly add more detail.
You can choose any piece you haven’t yet revised. This means you can choose from the Name piece, the Episode piece, or the Place piece. OR you can write a whole new piece that relates to the focus of your memoir. However, if you choose to write a new piece, it must be crafted and worked! It cannot be the same quality as something you would write in class in 40 minutes. I will not accept a jumbled first draft.
Announcement: Progress reports will be issued on Wednesday.
ALEXA GARVOILLE 